Mind Maze
by Nynja
Summary: A li'l ficcie based on the going-ons within Celena's and Dilandau's mind(s). PG for a bit of language(hardly). This might end up angsty or romance-ish depending on my mood. Tester fic. ~Pyja
1. Chapter I!

04.20.02  
  
Authoress' Note: Ahem -cough- this is just a tester fic-thinger just to see how fanfiction.net works since I'm new to posting fics here. Try to keep flames down, if that is your intent, cuz like I said before, this is just a tester mmkayz? I have decided to put third person POVs into this story cuz it would be more interesting that way. Oh yea, this is the same person as Pyro Nynja/Pyja/Pyro Ninja/whatever other typos I might've made in my reviews ^_^;;;  
  
Dilandau will probably be a bit OOC in here because time has passed and Dilandau has gotten used to being in Celena's head.  
  
Two more things, Dilly/Celena are/is 16 and I modified the meaning of the song a bit(the words are still the same though).  
  
Disclaimer: -__-;; I don't own Escaflowne, Celena, Dilly(::sob::), I Am ~Lara Fabien or anything else which may be mentioned. But I DO own this fic =P  
  
Now, ON WIT THA TESTA!! ::jabs finger into the sky like Hanagata from SMJ::  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
= and = is Dilandau  
  
- and - is Celena  
  
  
  
~Celena's POV~  
  
Celena sighed. Troubling thoughts swirled around her as she quickly ran through the maze of her mind, searching for a sign, a clue, anything!  
  
:::flashback:::  
  
"Dammit Dilandau!" The frustrated Lady Schezar muttered to herself as she looked over at her elder brother, Allen and sighed. Looks like Dilly-boy had taken over the body that they shared during the night and had struck again.  
  
The room Celena was in, her bedroom, quite literally looked as if a tornado full of laser-sharpened blades had recently struck.  
  
"Celena, have you been practising with the kunai[1] again?" Allen inquired, peering at her as if trying to pry into her thoughts.  
  
"ehh..." The question caught Celena off guard. Then she remembered that that was her excuse last time the same thing happened. "Oh... yea." She hung her head, trying to be the convincing actress that Dilandau was nagging her to be from the back of their shared mind even though she knew she a had a pretty good idea of what had really taken place. She paused then looked up. "I'm sorry Brother, please don't be mad. I just really needed to let off some steam. You know how I get when those stuffy nobles visit." That seemed to satisfy Allen as Celena let out a little sigh of relief. "Well, I'll leave you alone to clean up your little mess now Celena, and remember, we have guests today." He quickly turned his back and strode out the door. Celena sighed again, thinking of how nosy her brother could be.  
  
  
  
=You really need practise.= A sneering voice broke her thoughts.  
  
-shut up Dilandau, this is all your fault. YOU were the one who took over my body when I was sleeping!!-  
  
A low chuckle filled her head =What else am I supposed to do? Try and takeover when you're awake and let you pester me?=  
  
-Well, yea. It would be the best thing to do, that way I am more aware of what you're doing to MY body!! And what did you last night anyway? This is probably the worst mess yet. Even the ceiling seems to be slashed and you know how far above our heads it is.-  
  
=Oh, I just had a couple of those bastard soldiers on my tail after I snatched their wine. I led them to your room and... waitaminute... YOUR body?= Dilandau mentally slapped her =Remember, we're in this together Celena.=  
  
-Fiiiiine. And DON'T slap me!! Haven't you learned any manners? Ladies are not to be slapped-  
  
Dilandau snorted and slapped her forcefully once more =No, I haven't. So sue me.=  
  
-DILANDAU ALBATOU!!!- That slap was the last straw. Through the past year, Celena had endured most of Dilandau's mental abuse, striving for the day she would complete her task of taming the wild beast within, the one and only, Dilandau. But THIS. This was the last straw. Lady Celena Schezar was usually a cool and composed woman, but now she couldn't take it any longer. -Dilandau.- The chilling, unfeeling, iciness of that one word pretty much scared the hell out of Dilandau, but he didn't care. No one speaks to Dilandau that way!! =Why you little- =  
  
-Dilandau.- Celena interupted. She knew she had Dilandau's attention because she could feel it. -I don't need you anymore. You are not wanted in this mind nor this body. Get. Out. NOW!!-  
  
:::end flashback::  
  
And that was the last conversation(or closest thing to a converstion) she had had with Dilandau. After that, Dilandau exploded into a stream of cursing and insulting, then it was silent. For a couple days, Celena Schezar felt peace, but now, she was feeling loneliness all over again. She had called to Dilandau over and over again, but there was no response. She had tried everything to get a response. Calling, insulting, pleading, begging, but NOTHING would work. There was only the lonely echo of emptiness where Dilandau once was.  
  
Now, Celena had ventured into the twisting depths of the mind that Dilandau and she shared, calling for Dilandau as if her life depended on it. -Dilandau!!- she choked back a sob. What had happened to him?? Why couldn't she feel much of a life force anymore?? WHY did she feel so drained?! -Dilandau!! If you can hear me, please answer!!- Alas, no answer came.  
  
-Dilandau....-  
  
______________________________________________________________  
  
~Dilly's POV~  
  
-Dilandau....-  
  
He had heard it all right. But it didn't mean anything to him anymore.  
  
=cheap harlot, comes crawling back to me just for her own selfish needs.= He spat before he dropped his head into his knees as he sat on the hard cold floor, leaning against a wall that he hadn't noticed before.  
  
-Dilandau!!! Answer me dammit!!-  
  
No, he wouldn't give in to her needs anymore.  
  
Feels like you've built a wall around me  
  
You've tried your best to ground me  
  
Let me explain, that I don't play by any other rules  
  
I won't be nobody's fool, I won't lose this game  
  
There is no way  
  
I can love you with half of my heart  
  
It would tear me apart  
  
I am who I am  
  
What else could I be  
  
And I stand where I stand  
  
I choose to be me  
  
When you look in my eyes  
  
You get what you see  
  
Understand if you can  
  
That I am who I am, who I am  
  
___________________________________________________  
  
~Celena's POV~  
  
She broke down in uncontrollable sobs as her hope slowly started to fade away.  
  
-Dilandau... I....-  
  
waitaminute... I? _I_??? I what??  
  
  
  
Think twice before you try to read me  
  
Before you try to lead me into your trap  
  
You've got no right to play with my emotions  
  
Cuz you should know that I'm much deeper that that  
  
There is no way  
  
I can love you with half of my heart  
  
It would tear me apart  
  
I am who I am  
  
What else could I be  
  
And I stand where I stand  
  
I choose to be me  
  
When you look in my eyes  
  
You get what you see  
  
Understand if you can  
  
That I am who I am, who I am  
  
  
  
Celena's defensive emotions kicked in. -No way!! You stupid girl!!- she scolded herself. -You hate him. You only need him because you're afraid to be alone.-  
  
  
  
There is no way  
  
I can love you with half of my heart  
  
It would tear me apart  
  
  
  
_________________________________________________  
  
~Dilandau's POV~  
  
The silent Albino clutched the glinting dagger in his hands. He knew there was no running from the inevitable now. He knew Celena only put up with him so she could change him. Change him for the "better". Hah. If she thought that "better" meant that he would be like the elder Schezar, Allen, she was sadly mistaken. Dilandau would rather face those sorcerers again than to become Allen-like. He couldn't believe Celena would do something like that to him!!  
  
  
  
I am who I am  
  
What else could I be  
  
And I stand where I stand  
  
I choose to be me  
  
When you look in my eyes  
  
You get what you see  
  
Understand if you can  
  
That I am who I am, who I am  
  
His counterpart didn't know that he knew of her plans for him, but sometimes, that girl could be so naive. When she wasn't paying attention, she kept her thoughts out in the open where he could feel them. He, on the other hand had been trained well as a soldier and knew how to keep his thoughts and emotions to himself. He smiled wistfully as he remembered how he could get Celena so pissed off when she couldn't get into his thoughts the way he could get into hers. Dilandau's thoughts paused as he leaned back.  
  
=No, I must concentrate on my mission(A/n: Too much gundam wing for me!! sorry!!). She doesn't care for me anyway.=  
  
Slowly, he unbuttoned his jacket, and took off his shirt(a/n ::droooool:::). Finally, the shining dagger he grasped was raised above his chest and poised, ready to strike. What he didn't realize was the surrounding walls of the maze multiplying, and fusing to form a box surrounding him, from all sides.  
  
___________________________________________________  
  
~Celena's POV~  
  
The fleet-footed pale-haired woman gasped as the walls of the maze started to surround her and began to close in on her.  
  
-wtf...-  
  
Then it dawned on her.  
  
So... this is what my mind is like. No, Dilandau's and mine. The maze was the jumbled up thoughts of Dilandau and her, and the more confused they were, the more walls there were. But what about the darkness? Celena took a deep breath.  
  
-okay Celena. breath. think about it. What's going on?- she blinked to clear her mind. As she did, the mazes became a little bit less dense. -hmm.. interesting... I guess I was right about that one... then the darkness of their mind must mean that there is a lot of negative energy going around.. meaning Dilandau must still be here... but then... darkness...its way too dark, even for Dilandau....- She gasped as realization hit her.  
  
-DILANDAU YOU STUPID OAF!!!!!!- she yelled with all the volume she could muster, hoping that it was not too late for the Albino boy.  
  
"Why do you care anyway?" a voice questioned. "Its not like he means anything to you. All these years, he's been a nusence and nothing more. You hate him. You know you do. You know....."  
  
-NO!!! I DON'T HATE HIM!! I..- Celena blinked. -I-I-I.... I...-  
  
  
  
A silent "no...." broke the total stillness of maze within the shared mind. Surely she was mistaken!! She couldn't... there was no way... NO!!  
  
And that, was when she gave in to her emotions.  
  
_____________________________________________  
  
~Dilandau's POV~  
  
-DILANDAU YOU STUPID OAF!!!!- the voice echoed through stillness of his mind trap.  
  
=Pheh. So, she thinks I'm stupid. Well thats okay because "stupid Dilandau" won't be around anymore. Not around to let her criticize him. Not around to let her change him. Not around for anything!!=  
  
Dilandau glared at the dagger gripped right above his exposed chest.  
  
He was not going to give in to her calls. Not now, not ever. He was ready to plunge the gleaming blade into his chest.  
  
-....Dilandau.... I love you....-  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
[1]Kunai- these little dagger-type thingers that ninjas use as throwing weapons. Sort of like shuriken(throwing stars), cept their knives. Makimachi Misao from Rurouni Kenshin uses them.  
  
A/N: soooooooo how was my first Esca fic hmmm? Not too shabby? Sucked? Great? Ass wipe material? hmmmm? I originally thought this would just be a one-poster, but I have to figure out how to add chapters too, so I guess its going to be a two-bit thing ^_^ Also, if there were little spelling mistakes or grammer errors, keep in mind that I'm writing this at 11:PM. ooh, btw, did I mention that I HATE cliffhangers, but LOVE putting them in my ficcies? Can you say HYPOCRITE? LoL, anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!! or flame(constructively of course), or complain, moan, groan, cheer, laugh, yell, rant, anything! Just tell me what you think ^^;; 


	2. wah hah! And the authoress has figured o...

DAY.05.02  
  
Authoress' Note: Hello hello people!! Second bit of the two-bit tester-ficcie is out!! And lookie! I actually got reviews last time!! 6 reviews!! O_O;; Thanks to Ashuri Chan, Geniusgurl, MysticMoon, Ana, Magical Dream and Sojiro-chan for reviewing ^_^ You guys are tha best!! And to answer your question MysticMoon, yes, in their mind, Celena and Dilandau have separate bodies since they are virtually two different people. Okay, one more thing: By now, Celena has already assumed that Dilandau is attempting suicide(which he is) soo... that should explain anything confusing...I think.  
  
  
On a random note: -screams out- bJANG SU WON IS HOOOOOOT!!!!!!/b -gets many odd sidelong glances- eh heh heh ^.^V  
  
  
Disclaimer #I: ::booms into the megaphone:: I OWN DILANDAU AND CELENA!! THEY'RE MINE!!! ::whispering off the megaphone:: i don't own escaflowne or any of their chars... -sniff- (nor do I own Jang Su Won.... -sobs uncontrollably-)  
  
Disclaimer #II: I also don't own "All You Wanted" by Michelle Branch  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
- and - is Celena  
= and = is Dilandau  
:::: and :::: are either private thoughts, or thoughts.dialogue between two characters that one of the other chars can't hear.  
  
  
Recap: Celena can't feel Dilandau in her mind anymore due to a huge blowup a while ago, so she ventures into the depths of the maze within their mind to look for Dilandau. Along the way, she realizes why she's so frantic in her search, which is because she actually doesn't hate him, in fact, she really loves him. Meanwhile, Dilandau's about to plunge his oh-so-reliable dagger into his chest.   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
iI wanted to be like you  
I wanted everything  
So I tried to be like you  
And I got started today/i  
  
  
~Celena's POV~  
  
  
-...Dilandau... I love you...-  
  
The girl blinked. -er... did I just say what I thought I said? Naw, I couldn't have. I don't l-love him do I? DO I?!?!-   
  
A voice in her head answered back. "You do... Celena..."  
  
-Ahh... who? I mean, who are you?-  
  
"Celena... now that I know you've found yourself, I can finally rest...."  
  
-uh....that doesn't exactly clear up much.-  
  
"... now go to him... my little Celena..."  
  
-...Mother?!-  
  
  
________________________________________________  
  
iI didn't know that  
It was so cold and  
You needed someone   
to show you the way  
  
So I took your hand and  
We figured out that  
When the time comes, I'll take you away/i  
  
  
~Dilandau's POV~  
  
-...Dilandau...I love you...-  
  
=shut up you friggin whore, I'm trying to have a moment here= Dilandau mumbled to himself =I don't care whether you lo- uh.... love me?=  
  
He gripped the dagger tighter, as though his life ...no, his death depended on it.   
  
=Did I hear wrong? Celena loves me?=   
  
.............  
  
  
The dagger clattered onto the floor as Dilandau Albatou went into shock for the first time in his partial life as the albino counterpart of Celena.  
  
_______________________________________________  
  
~Celena's POV~  
  
"Go... Celena, I cannot stay longer... go to your love, go now!"   
  
-B-but-but...-  
  
"NOW!!" Celena hastily sprinted off towards the bowels of the intricate maze Dilandau's negative thoughts and confusion had created, in order to find the one that she truly loved. -...but... how did she get here? and what did she mean by "I can finally rest"? and how--   
  
bCLANG!/b  
  
-YAH!- Celena jumped with a start. She had been so caught up with her thoughts that she hadn't realized just where she was going and what was happening around her. A glimmer of hope entered Celena's mind as the loud clattering of steel hitting the ice cold floor broke her thoughts and registered in her mind. A small smile threatened to crack on her face as she raced madly towards the source of the sound.  
  
i  
If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted was somebody who cared/i  
  
-DILANDAU!! DILANDAU WHERE ARE YOU???!- she hollared with all the love she could muster through her voice as an unnoticed golden aura began to envelope her...  
  
____________________________________________  
  
  
iI'm sinking slowly  
So hurry hold me  
Your hand as my hand  
to keep me hangin on/i  
  
  
~Dilandau's POV~  
  
  
The young albino came out of shock as Celena's voice shattered his shock. He rubbed his head and closed his eyes, trying to drink in all that had happened. =So.... she does care about me...=  
  
"Or does she?" a nasty little voice nagged at him from the back of his mind.   
  
  
=Wha- Who are you? And what do you mean or does she?=  
  
"I, am the little voice in the back of your mind. Otherwise known as your inner demon's conscience, at your service. And I meant, how do you know that she meant what she said? Couldn't you feel that certain ring of falseness in her voice? The cruel sneer that reverberated from deep within her heart? Couldn't you?"  
  
=No....= Dilandau looked thoughtful for a moment =No, I didn't. Actually, I heard the ring of truth in her voice, and-=   
  
  
"HAH!" the voice interupted with a contemptuous snort. "What a sucker. You can't even hear the loathe oozing in her voice... the obvious hatred resounding from every corner of her breath... look into yourself... you'll see it. You'll see what she hates. She hates you. Your pyromaniacy, the evil within you, the tempermental psycho she has had to endure for so long... and the darkness engulfing your soul this very minute, deteriorating the whats left of the so-called goodness in your mind this very minute... look, and you shall see." The voice seemed to sneer at him as his expression turned from one of thoughtfulness to one of sheer self-loathing. The demon smiled.  
  
  
=You're right.=  
  
____________________________________________  
  
  
iPlease can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone/i  
  
  
~Celena's POV~  
  
Something was terribly wrong. She could feel it. Dilandau was her counterpart, she could feel everything.   
  
-No.... Dilandau... Dilandau....- she murmered  
  
iIf you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here/i  
  
-It can't end now. It can't. It just CAN'T!!!- she screamed out the last word as a seering pain ripped through her body. She finally noticed the golden glow which seemed to emit from her very own body and gaped, wide-eyed. -Wha?-  
  
"Celena, Dilandau is in terrible danger right now. A horrendous evil is controlling his thoughts right now. Manipulating him to do what it wants. I, cannot stop him, for I am only a spirit who is at rest. The evil is a disembodied soul who seeks to control bodies controlled by unstable minds. Its intended victim was you, but the evil found out the hard way that you are far too strong-headed to be bent towards its will. Instead, it has found a much better mind, and that, is Dilandau's. His mind is weak now, from too much strain. It will try to corrupt Dilandau and will continue until his inevitable death. Unfortunately, due to its frustrating attempts with you, it has decided that Dilandau's life should not be continued any further. It ends unow/u. Unless, of course, someone destroys it. But only you and Dilandau's efforts combined can destroy it since you share the body. If you don't act now, you'll know what he'll do."  
  
Celena nodded absently as she absorbed all the information. She would NOT let her counterpart die if she had anything to do with it.   
  
  
iSo lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted was somebody who cared  
  
All you wanted was somebody who cares  
If you need me, you know I'll be there  
  
If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away form here/i  
  
-I call upon thee, power of thy mind, show me the way!! Show Dilandau the light!!- The golden aura began to eminate brightly, until it became almost impossibly blinding. Celena looked towards the path which the light was showing her, towards the deepest, blackest section of the maze.  
  
iSo lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted was somebody who cared/i  
  
-Dilandau.... I'm coming...- she whispered as she dashed towards her love, golden light pulsating madly.  
  
______________________________________________  
  
iSo lonely inside   
So busy out there  
And all you wanted was somebody who cared/i  
  
~Dilandau's POV~  
  
  
With the dagger in his vice-like grip again, Dilandau narrowed his eyes until they were slits. =I can do this. I'm not needed anymore, and Celena won't miss me. Not at all.=  
  
"Just get on with it already" the voice hissed.  
  
=Alright, here goes.=  
  
____________________________________________  
~Celena's POV~  
  
iIf you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here/i  
  
-DILANDAU!!- Celena screamed -DON'T DO IT!!!- She rushed up to the enclosure where Dilandau was about to make his fatal mistake. She could feel his presence slipping away, and another one emerging where he once was.   
  
iSo lonely inside   
So busy out there  
And all you wanted was somebody who cared/i  
  
-no.... I won't let this happen.-   
  
Fists clenched and canines bared, Celena glared towards the barrier between her love and herself, measuring the amount of energy she would have to use to break it.   
  
iPlease can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone./i  
  
Suddenly, a beam of the golden light shot out of her body and tore through the barrier, making it possible for Celena to see Dilandau.  
  
And he was almost at the point of no return.  
  
-Dilandau....- she tried to speak, to catch his attention, uanything/u to stop him from doing what he was about to do. uNothing/u would come out of her mouth. She tried to rush towards him, but nothing. Her feet were glued to the place.   
  
:::What the f-::::  
  
And that, was when the dagger plunged into the depths of Dilandau's heart and pierced Celena's soul.  
  
  
-NOOOOOOOOOOOO000000000oooooooooo!!!!!!!!-  
  
  
  
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A/N: Okay, okay, so Celena's little chant was a little cheesey(audience: HaH! A ulittle/u cheesey? Understatement there! -_-;;), but hey, it was a spur of the moment thing! And if you're wondering what the golden light was for, its for effect. And it symbolizes the purity and goodness of Celena. Why's it gold and not silver? I dunno, Gold seems more gold-ly ^.^V lol, okay, so maybe this story isn't going to be two-bit. The next chapter will go through the epilogue-ish sort of thing, and will probably answer some questions since I know that the first chapter was a bit confusing since I had it all in my mind. But writing it out at 2AM does kind of screw the story over and not make it like sound like its supposed to be -.-;;; If you want any questions answered, just click, review and ask, and I'll try to incorporate it into the next chapter. Probably going to re-do the first chapter too ~.~  
  
On another note: In case you're wondering, Jang Su Won is a korean(not to mention extremely hot and drool-worthy) guy from a korean band called the Sechskies. They broke up a while ago, but most of the members have either gone solo or duo ~_^ And you're probably asking why I put babble like this here, cuz it is totally irrelevant to the story. Lol. I have my non-existant reasons. 


End file.
